Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Breathe 2am....

2 Am and she calls me cause I'm still awake
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake
I don't love him and winter just wasn't my season.

Yea we walk through the doors so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize
Hypocrites you're all here for the very same reason.

Cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable and life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button girl
So just cradle your head in your hands.

And breathe, just breathe, whoa breathe just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base of Fort Bliss
Just today he sat down to the flask in his fist
Ain't been sober since maybe October of last year

Here in town you can tell he's been down for while
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles
Wanna hold him but maybe I'll just sing about it

Cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button boys so cradle your head in your hands

And breathe, just breathe, whoa breath just breathe

There's a light at the end of this tunnel you shout cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made
You'll just make them again if you'll only try turnin' around

2Am and I'm still awake writing this song
If i get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me threaten' the life it belongs to.

And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to.

But you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button now

Sing it if you understand...yeah breath
Just breathe, ohho breathe...

* it was 2am n i juz finished calling up 'Asy n Nat to help me unravel my latest mistake. Fortunately for me, I dun love him n dat makes it way easier for me. But the truth remains, I cant find a rewind button n make everything go away... so like my 2 darlings told me.... "kin, breathe..." i shall breathe... just breathe... This grave. unforgivable mistake I made, wic it's more like a sin to me, is sumting I dun ever wanna repeat again. Yeah, it's nt my fault, yeah, i din noe, bt no, it doesnt change anything, and no, it doesnt help me feel better... i want to write everything down, how i m feel rite now bt its of no use as (pls refer to previous entry) like i said, i cn nvr express my feelings wif words. words r jus mere words. I have learnt that today. For him, words r juz words. Promises unkept, hopes thrashed, hearts broken. N yes, rite now i feel like i m naked in frnt of the crowd coz i m revealing my weakness online. bt i feel like i need to write sumting down - anything. i dunno if it makes me feel better - i hope so... at least in due time.

to the one i hurt unknowingly - i apologize. i swear to u i din noe. i promise this will be the end. if it helps, i cn nvr forgive myself for this. the conscience is killing me. i m filled wif guilt however hard i tell myself dat it's nt my fault. trust me wen i say i m really sorry. i m sorry... a million apologies will nvr take this burden away frm me bt i hope it will help take ur load off. n yeah u r rite, u've cleared the air. i thank u for dat. Again... i m sorry....

Posted by DiStUrBeD AnGeL at 11:28 AM

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Untitled

I'm trying so hard
to pen down the words
that could describe my feelings
rite now

I tried n I tried
like I always do
but still in my my mind
i have no clue

I dun understand
why izzit so hard
for me to let out wat
I'm feeling inside

Do i have no will
Do i have no say
Do i have no hope
Did i let it all slip away

If only i cld scream
scream my heart out
If only i cld run
run miles n miles to nowhere
If only i cn make them see
the pain that is in me
If only i cn make them feel
the heartaches i hide beneathe this veil

I'm tired of being me
I'm tired of smiling, u c
I'm tired of pretending
I'm tired of waiting

For that day will nvr come
I noe
For that day will nvr b mine
I see
For that happiness I once wished
Is just my biggest fantasy

Posted by DiStUrBeD AnGeL at 11:47 PM

Antara Ada dan Tiada






Setiap ku melihatmu
Ku terasa di hati
Kau punya segalanya
Yang aku impikan
Dan anganku tak henti
Bersajak tentang bayangmu
Walau kutahu
Kau tak pernah anggapku ada

Ku tak bisa menggapaimu
Takkan pernah bisa
Walau sudah letih
Aku tak mungkin lepas lagi
Kau hanya mimpi bagiku
Tak untuk jadi nyata
Dan sgala rasa buatmu
Harus padam dan berakhir

Kan selalu
Ku rasa hadirmu
Antara ada dan tiada

Posted by DiStUrBeD AnGeL at 11:38 PM

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Jauh Mimpiku...



















pernah ku simpan jauh rasa ini
berdua jalani cerita
kau ciptakan mimpiku
jujur ku hanya sesalkan diriku

kau tinggalkan mimpiku
dan itu hanya sesalkan diriku

ku harus lepaskanmu
melupakan senyummu

semua tentangmu, tentangku, hanya harap
jauh, ku jauh, mimpiku dengan inginku
ku harus lepaskanmu melupakan senyummu
semua tentangmu, tentangku, hanya harap
semua tentangmu, tentangku, hanya harap
jauh, ku jauh, mimpiku dengan inginku
semua tentangmu, tentangku, hanya harap
jauh, ku jauh, mimpiku dengan inginku

jauh mimpiku dengan inginku....

Posted by DiStUrBeD AnGeL at 12:27 AM